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June 16 - Please note there have been very big
changes to the schedule. Please check them out and reprint
if necessary.
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June 17 There are some great new pictures
posted. Thanks to Jenn for sending them in.
Below are some helpful translations sent to me by
Jayson. Please study them so you are not upset when I tell
you that our next training ride is "Not that
hilly." Also, would everyone please a spare piece of
clothing for our next mountain bike ride....
- Cyclists are the biggest sandbaggers and secret trainers
around.
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- "I'm out of shape"
- ==>Translation: I ride 400 miles a week and haven't
missed a day since
the Ford
administration. I replace my 11-tooth cog more often than you
wash your shorts. My body fat percentage is lower than your
mortgage rate.
"I'm not into competition. I'm just riding to stay in
shape"
==>Translation: I will attack until you
collapse in the gutter, babbling and whimpering. I
will win the line sprint if I
have to force you into oncoming traffic. I will crest this
hill first if I have to grab your seat post, and spray energy
drink in your eyes.
"I'm on my beater bike"
==>Translation: I had this baby
custom-made in Tuscany using titanium blessed by the Pope. I
took it to a wind tunnel and it disappeared. It weighs
less than a fart and costs more than a divorce.
"It's not that hilly"
==>Translation: This climb lasts longer than a
presidential campaign. Be careful on the steep sections or
you'll fall over -- backward. You have
a 39x23 low gear? Here's the name of my knee surgeon
"You're doing great, honey"
==>Translation: Yo, lard butt, I'd like to get
home before midnight. This is what you get for spending the
winter decorating and eating chocolate. I
shoulda married that cute Cat 1 racer when I had the chance.
"This is a no-drop ride"
==> Translation: I'll need an article of your
clothing for the search-and-rescue
dogs.
"It's not that far"
==>Translation: Bring your passport.
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